Global Warming Causes "Deflation"

Yes that’s right! According to the latest alarmist hysteria global warming causes “deflation.”  No, not the monetary kind (although that may be the next round of hysterics), by deflation, I mean the kind you need Viagra for. Per this article on World Net Daily.

Global warming may make the world’s inhabitants cranky and stressed, drive them crazy, give them cancer and even worsen their suffering from sexual dysfunction, according to a new government report on climate change – but the scientists say more money is needed before they can be certain.

Look how your tax dollars are being wasted.

Government scientists from several taxpayer-funded agencies, including the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the National Institute of Environmental Health Science, the State Department and the Environmental Protection Agency, compiled an 80-page report titled, “A Human Health Perspective on Climate Change: A Report Outlining the Research Needs on the Human Health Effects of Climate Change.”

Yes, it took at least 4 agencies to come up with this crapola, which you can read by clicking on the link in the above quote.

It gets even better. While I was looking for additional information on this topic I found this here.

Climate change brings some rather unexpected findings, and sometimes a happy outcome for some – take the male Scottish Grey Seal, for instance.

These findings show that climate change, whilst endangering many species, could also help to increase the genetic diversity of some species,” Twiss said. Scottish Seal hanky-panky, it seems, is rife.

So, if you’re a Scottish Gray Seal global warming means you’ll have a much easier time getting laid.  Lucky devils.

It gets crazier, real CO2 Insanity, I also found this, from no less of a publication than Nature.

Rising temperatures look set to produce male-only offspring in the tuatara, condemning the ancient reptile species to extinction by 2085, computer modelling predicts.

So if you’re one of these lizards, it’s going to really be bad.  Soon there will be no females of the species and you’ll be hanging around in Lizard Leather Bars trying to pickup that hunk next to you with tight buns in the biker chaps.

Dont’ think it’s over yet….it gets sillier yet.  Here we have an article from Canadian Free Press titled “Sex Causes Global Warming.” That’s right! Now if you get laid, it’s bad for the environment!

Sex causes global warming. At least that is what the folks up at Oregon State say:

“A study by statisticians at Oregon State University concluded that in the United States, the carbon legacy and greenhouse gas impact of an extra child is almost 20 times more important than some of the other environmentally sensitive practices people might employ their entire lives – things like driving a high mileage car, recycling, or using energy-efficient appliances and light bulbs.”

“Not to be outdone by their American cousins, The London School of Economics released their “Fewer Emitter, Lower Emissions, Less Cost” report on this world shaking revelation:

“Every £4 spent on family planning over the next four decades would reduce global CO2 emissions by more than a ton, whereas a minimum of £19 would have to be spent on low-carbon technologies to achieve the same result, the research says.

Now I’m getting confused first it’s bad, then it’s good, then it’s bad again.  Read on.

Next we even get tips on having a “green” sex life (no it’s not about the green weenie).  Then more tips here.

In the next few decades, sex won’t even be an option if you’re busy dodging climate-change-induced hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, droughts, and other scourges of the earth. A greener sex life starts with personal choices, but there are some pretty nice side benefits too — and not just for Greenpeace’s sake. Use the following tips to get more sustainable satisfaction.

“Sustainable satisfaction”….sounds like the answer to every woman’s prayers, that her mate will “sustain”  Here’s definition #5 “to keep up or keep going, as an action or process.”

Don’t believe any of it?  Here’s The Goracle telling us to lay off getting laid.

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/H8e2liqoDok” width=”425″ height=”344″ allowfullscreen=”true” fvars=”fs=1″ /]

I can’t about stand this anymore, I’m laughing so hard I’m about to fall out of my chair. But, here’s what has to be the oxymoron of the recent meetings on global warming in Copenhagen.  Based upon all this information about sex and global warming, wouldn’t you think all these delegates to COP 15 would practice what they preach?  Hell no!

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk.

Yes, we certainly have another case of CO2 Insanity here.

Source: WND

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1 Comment

Filed under Co2 Insanity, Comedy Relief, Editor, Satire, Science, Stranger than Truth

One response to “Global Warming Causes "Deflation"

  1. al bust

    Oh BTW. Global warming is the result of radiation from the galactic core.

    See Scientists Now Know: We’re From Sagittarius Dwarf Galaxy!
    http://viewzone.com/milkyway.html

    and

    University preprint paper for details and numbers Sagittarius Dwarf Galaxy used to be home of our Solar System.