Bill Gates tries to come up with a royal flush

What’s a billionaire to do? You’ve already made it. You have more money than you could ever blow unless you invested it with John Corzine. Cars, yachts, private jets, lavish vacations? Well, they were fun at first but now are old hat.

Bill must have been watching Mayor Nanny Bloomberg too much because now he’s wanting to re-invent the toilet and declare himself Nanny Gates. After all, declaring one’s self above the riff-raff and telling everyone what to do is the next logical step before becoming the ultimate, a dictator.

Microsoft co-founder turned global philanthropist Bill Gates on Tuesday launched a search for a new toilet better suited to developing countries.

The charitable foundation founded by Gates and his wife kicked off a “Reinvent the Toilet Fair” in Seattle and awarded prizes for promising innovations.

“Toilets are extremely important for public health and, when you think of it, even human dignity,” Gates said in a statement at thegatesnotes.com.

Yes Bill! We need the new Microsoft Toilet! Which prompts me to wonder what the hell a Microsoft toilet would do? I can imagine the following:

  1. You say “Open man – the lid and seat open.
  2. You say “Open woman – and the lid just opens with the seat down.
  3. When you sit down a screen comes out of a hidden compartment and slides in front of you so you can surf & shit.
  4. If you take too large of a dump it pops up on the screen “Warning: Hard Poop capacity has been exceeded. Please flush so it clears out the “memory.”
  5. Can be set for Auto Flush so you don’t get the warning in #4.
  6. Automatically plays Chris Matthews podcast when you sit.
  7. Special Cheryl Crow Edition only dispenses only one piece of TP per use no matter how horrendous of a dump you just took.
  8. Screen automatically prevents you from reading any right-wing stuff like Fox News and redirects you to HuffPo or CNN or MSNBC.
  9. Automatically measures, then enters you the dump of the month contest. Winner gets a free two-holer Microsoft Toilet that promotes Bill’s family values.
  10. Has two icons on the top. One for #1 (Shows a guy taking a whiz) and one for #2 (shows a guy taking a dump).
  11. When done with #1 it purifies it and recycles it into a re-useable water bottle (throw-away plastic bottles forbidden).
  12. When done doing a #2 it incinerates what’s in the bowl with a built-in flame-thrower. Warns you to get up fast or your ass will get singed before firing the flame-thrower.
  13. Standard Edition uses special TP with a Google logo on it.
  14. No built-in bidet – uses too much water. Gotta keep the ecotards happy yanno.
  15. No built-in butt blow-dryer unless you order the special Solyndra Edition that comes with a built-in solar panel and substitutes the Google Logo TP for real $100 dollar bills you can flush down the toilet like Obama and the DOE.
  16. Upgrade to the Barack Hussein Obama Edition which is gold-plated, uses Trillion Dollar Bills instead of $100’s and comes with a teleprompter when going #2 so you grunt properly. When done prompts you to say Hot Damn! Look at the size of that dump!
  17. Optional Janet Napolitano Editions that  come with the extra-wide toilet-seat option and a vibrator.
  18. Special Al Gore Inconvenient Truth Edition comes with a built-in heater so you can pretend your massive dump just caused massive global warming.
  19. Special Jihad Edition substitutes paper for 3 stones and looks like a hole in the floor. When you flush it makes an exploding sound like a car bomb.
  20. Special Nanny Bloomberg Edition checks to see if you have had any trans fats or 16 ounce Cokes in the past 24 house and yells at you if you did.

OK, Bill. So let’s just ignore the good old-fashioned outhouse that’s worked for centuries. What? They already have composting toilets and incinerator toilets? Bah! We need high-tech for 3rd world countries!

Source: Yahoo News

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Dumping iron in the ocean could slow global warming, say scientists

We have a better idea. Perhaps someone should dump some of these so-called scientists in the ocean and see what happens. The best would  be that the Global Warming BS Gravy Train would slow down or stop.

If we let them do this who knows what the results will be for the atmosphere and ocean life? It very easily could make matters worse, which wouldn’t  be a surprise to us at all.

Source: Christian Science Monitor

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Filed under Co2 Insanity, Global Warming

Stimulus-Backed Solar Facility Touted By Harry Reid Shuts Down

Looks like we have another winner in the green jobs category. It won’t be long before there’s no solar panels being made in the United States.  Sounds like it should be called Solyndra II. The Democrats and the Obama Administration sure can pick ’em! Gory details (or should that be Gore-ee) at the source below.

Source: The Foundry

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Half of IPCC’s global warming created by data adjustments

Yet more global warming BS surfaces! Want to get more global warming than there really is? It’s easy! Just make some adjustments! Real scientists the world over should be vomiting over this. It is man-made global warming, though. Just that most of the warming is man-made on paper and not in the atmosphere. Check it out at the source below.

Source: I Hate the Media

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IPCC Admits Its Past Reports Were Junk

It appears us deniers or skeptics were right. People like the Goracle, Pachauri, Hansen and others of the warmer persuasion have been passing off BS as scientific fact. It appears the gullible, all over the globe have been falling for it, too! We won’t hold our breath waiting for anyone to snap back into reality. We’re sure the BS will continue and the idiots at the EPA will continue to use Global Warming as a tool to get their way, regardless if it’s based upon reality or not. California, no doubt will continue to implement the AB32 law that creates a carbon trading fiasco. After all, it’s really about the money, not pollution. Read all the sordid details at the source below.

Source: American Thinker

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Filed under AB32 California, Al Gore, Antarctica, California Air Resources Board, Cap & Trade, CARB, Carbon Taxes, Carbon Trading, Climate Alarmism, Climate Change, Climate Disruption, Climate Modeling, CO2, Co2 Insanity, Global Warming, IPCC, NASA, Politics, Weather

Himalyan Glaciers Getting Bigger is a Mystery?

Here’s the headline in the Christian Science Monitor….

Global warming mystery: Some Himalayan glaciers getting bigger

While the story comes from Reuters, you have to laugh at their lead in…

The Himalayan glaciers are the planet’s largest bodies of ice outside the polar caps. New research shows some Himalayan glaciers got bigger between 1999-2008

To this we say “no shit Sherlock!” If you look at the below charts you can see that the average rise in temperature starts to flatten out (the curving dash line) and see the start of the downward trend, which prompts us to ask what global warming?

Want more on why this shouldn’t be a big mystery? Look at the arctic ice so far this year. Note the red line (2012) where it meets or slightly exceeds the average from 1979 to 2006, and meets 2010. Again we ask what warming?

The mystery here is why they don’t update the average and instead of 1979 to 2006 make it 1979 to 2012? That’s a 6 year lag!

You can look at the Antarctic below, too. Note there’s nothing to write home to mama about here, either. To be redundant – what warming?

Note the average here is 1979-2008, a little better but still not current in our book. With all the computers and satellites these days we have to again ask why the averages are not more current? 2008 is still a 4 year lag in information. They still using Commodore 64’s or what?

To reiterate, the mysteries to us are and what you should be asking yourselves is:

1. Why the chart average dates aren’t more current? Why do the averages cut off years before now?

2. Why anyone should be surprised that some of the glaciers aren’t melting like some phony computer models show?

3. Why some scientists appear to think the general public is dumber than a rock and continue to foist BS upon us even though it appears there’s no evidence of any catastrophic or unprecedented anything.

Really now, the CO2 is going up and the temperature isn’t, the glaciers aren’t melting and it doesn’t appear the Arctic or Antarctic sea-ice is disappearing either. That should be about all you need to know to comprehend there’s not much of a problem. Yet, we continue to be deluged with heaping, steaming, piles of crap that regardless the weather, claim global warming is unprecedented and that unless we start redistributing the world’s wealth, we’re all gonna die.

Source: The Christian Science Monitor

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Filed under Antarctica, Climate Alarmism, Climate Change, Climate Disruption, Climate Modeling, Climategate, CO2, Co2 Insanity, GISS, Glaciers, Global Warming, Government, Sea-Ice

‘Global Warming’ Visits Montana

After reading how ‘warm’ it is and ‘unprecedentedly hot’ blah-blah-blah, please note that it’s April 5, 2012 and there’s a blizzard warning in Montana. We know it’s just weather, but eagerly await some warmer pundit to tell us this too, is caused by global warming.

Source: http://www.chasertv.com

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Filed under Climate Alarmism, Climate Change, Climate Disruption, CO2, Co2 Insanity, Global Warming